1. You start off your dating life just like this
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2. Make several false starts like this
Source: Elaine/Twitter
3. Coppers is hardly worth the effort
4. And Tinder? It’s a wasteland
See also: Standing on Machu Picchu, or squatting next to a drugged tiger.
5. Basically dating in Ireland is no craic
What did he expect??
6. We’re masters of keeping things ‘just in case’
Sure isn’t it ideal for taking your lunch to work in? Why would you be throwing it out?
7. Every Irish woman has had to come to this conclusion all by herself
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(Tip: M&S 60 deniers.)
8. You’ve been confronted by the dreaded Tesco Screen of Doom
Why do they lock the condoms up in little plastic boxes like that? How is it fair?
9. And find yourself face to face with your heroes, right there on the street
MARY!
10. You know that trying to talk to some lads feels like this
“Yeah… Skyrim.”
11. And have dealt with this grievous offence
Source: Fionnuala/Twitter
*flings eyeliner across bedroom in a rage*
12. You get more love from the taxi man than any of our paramours
Source: Zoë/Twitter
Pat <3
13. And hold simple dreams and aspirations
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Maybe a €10 bottle of wine. Someday.
14. Because the absolute STRESS of keeping up with the Joneses
“This year I’m investing in some key pieces like this €2883223 keyring…”
Invest in ME HOOP, says you.
15. You’ve done something like this at least once before
SCREAM.
16. You just can’t stop yourself from being polite
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17. Except when you’re trying to give birth and there’s a Women’s March in the way
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Sounds about right. Go on you girls in green <3
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